im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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