I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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