how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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