omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dignity is for republicans.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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