Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
soo... how was my night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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