im holly from the hills drunk
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
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Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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