I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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