I'm gonna have a badass scar
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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