She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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