I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize