I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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