If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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