I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize