Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
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Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
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