omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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