While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize