I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
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I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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