I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize