every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he puts the penis in happiness.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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