this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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