dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
3pm strippers are depressing
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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