its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
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Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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