yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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