dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize