it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize