I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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