just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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