apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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