just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Still dying that you shit outside
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize