I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
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I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I am available for nakedness
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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