Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize