CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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