Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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