saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize