I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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