You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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