so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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