This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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