u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
im six kinds of drunk right now
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How naked do you want me to be?
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