I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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