ya dads aren't the best wingmen
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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