she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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