He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
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How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize