I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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