The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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