I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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