There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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