i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize