This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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