It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize